I will die if light touches me.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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