After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
