I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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