They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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