Can i not drive my cunt home
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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