We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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