My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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