So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize