im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
