There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The air was thick with penises
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
