You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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