seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
