I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
