Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize