Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize