You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
