who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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