I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
