i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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