God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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