I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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