I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Let's paint friendship bongs
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
