Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
