im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
