I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
