You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
