can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
