White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
