Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
