i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
