This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
