If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
