Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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