I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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