Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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