how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
