the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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