Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
