It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
