He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
