like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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