I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
