oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
