just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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