can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
