i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
