I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize