i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My ATM looks so different sober.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
