It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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