Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
