ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
