you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
