You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
