He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
