im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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