I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
