Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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