no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
honey bunches of taint.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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