If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
