That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Still dying that you shit outside
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
